My journey with mental health and a few tips I’d like to share with the world.

I’ve been struggling with mental health my entire life. A lot of things played role in my current state of mind. Family history with mental illness, habits, trauma. After a few years of trying different therapists I’ve finally managed to find one that fits my standards and I’ve been seeing her almost every week for the past 1 year and 2 months.

Therapy has helped me in a lot of ways. I’ve managed to regulate my mood and change my way of thinking to a degree. I’ve become better at socializing and handling difficult situations with people, I’ve released some of my anger and my frustration in a healthy way and improved my self esteem. It’s life saving for me. I am not going to lie though, it has been quite a ride. I learnt a lot about myself and still have a lot more to discover. I worked with my brain and not against my brain. I also changed some of my habits in order to become suitable for therapy. What does that mean? Well you can’t talk about your problems properly if you aren’t thinking straight. I took care of my basic needs. I changed my eating habits, I faced my fears and socialized with people I never thought I would, I went outside a little more and recently started actively going to the gym. So…that should have fixed me right?

Unfortunately, since the start of 2023 I’ve little by little started to get worse. I first started to notice it when my crying episodes became panic attacks. I could feel every single vein in my body and my heart beating, my chest to hurt. I would cry uncontrollably and pray to God it stopped. Due to my heart beating so fast I thought I was going to die from a heart attack which caused me even more anxiety and thus creating a loop. I was hysteric. I couldn’t drink coffee because it would raise my anxiety from already 100 to 200. My fears became more intense and changed from one thing to another. I couldn’t concentrate for the life of me. I would be on edge every single day. I would get mentally exhausted every time I talked to anyone. My insomnia became worse. I exhausted myself every day and still couldn’t sleep. My legs would be restless and my mind would be racing…you get the idea. I was in a pretty bad shape.

At some point I mentioned all this to my therapist and she suggested I see a psychiatrist to get medication because after a year she told me she might not be able to help me anymore. After a lot of hesitation I did and he prescribed me Escitalopram. I can’t describe in how much denial I was. Did I REALLY need to be put on medication? Am I not strong enough? Can I not overcome this in any other way? The side effects scared the shit out of me. I did a lot of reasearch, read through tons of reddit posts (yea….), watched videos on how exactly they work, read some papers comparing different anti depressants, talked a lot to my therapist and friends with similar experiences and after a month of consideration I gave in. I should also mention that 4 different doctors have recommended me to seek psychiatric help because my anxiety started to take a toll on my body (high blood sugar, high blood pressure, hair loss).

Have they worked? I don’t know yet because I just started medication. I might update this post in the future again.

In conclusion, please take care of yourself. Prioritize your own well being as selfish as it seems. No one is normal and there is no right or wrong way to get better. Never hesitate to ask for help. The point of this post (tbh it’s more of a brain dump) was to share my story and the few tips I gathered somewhere hoping that they help someone. I wish more people talked about their journey’s and how they found their way through. To end this post I’d like to share said tips that helped me improve my overall mental health while going to therapy.

• As I mentioned earlier you need to take care of your basic needs. Along with therapy you should focus on improving your diet, improving your sleep, getting more sunlight and being more active. I know it’s cliche but us humans can’t function if we don’t properly take care of those needs first. Surrounding yourself with people that actually care about you and love you is also a basic need.
• Track yourself. Track your habits, track your moods, track almost everything. Humans are a species of habit and pattern. Once you notice the habit and pattern you can break it. Inform your therapist about them too.
• Not every therapist is a good therapist. Don’t ever hesitate to switch if they don’t meet your standards. Try both men and women of different ages and see what you’re comfortable with.
• Always have a specific topic to talk about. If it’s your first time then write down key points in your life so it’s easier for you to open up. One topic will lead to another and another and another till you find what is holding you back in your subconscious.
• Be patient. I’ve been seeing therapists ever since I was 15 aka 7 years now. Only on the 6th year I started seeing a difference and actually making a change in my life. I guess growing up also plays a big role in that.
• Every therapist has their own ways of treating a patient however you should encourage yours to teach you ways to cope temporary. If you feel foggy you can ground yourself by examining the environment around you. If you are stressed you can take deep breaths and learn to control it for some time.
• Don’t expect therapy to magically heal you because it won’t. It’s up to YOU. YOU are in control of yourself and your mind. Nothing will change in your life if you don’t change how you’re thinking. You put in the most work not not only during your session but after as well. Every single day is a test.
• Don’t expect everything from them either. If they are good they will guide you. Doing my own research and talking to people with similar experiences has also helped to find my own ways to cope.
• It’s okay to repeat yourself. It’s okay to bring up the same topic again. Nothing is resolved with just one session. It may take months.
• I can’t describe how much time it takes to understand yourself. It’s never too late.
• Believe you can get better. If you want to become better you will. If you want to change your life around you will. No matter how bad things are never lose hope.